Blondshell - If You Asked for a Picture

Indie Rock – Released May 2, 2025 – 12 songs, 47 mins

REID

Sabrina Teitelbaum returns with her second studio album, If You Asked For A Picture. Her debut self-titled work gained three fans at TSR two years ago and we’ve had this one penciled on the schedule since the announcement of its pending release. 

Blondshell picks up where she left off with her love life confessionals. News flash! Dating nowadays is an absolute grind. Even if you’re a beautiful, talented musician on the rise. Thumbtack, T&A, Arms, Toy and Man offer different renditions of her troubled relationships and the subsequent inner turmoil they cause. She puts her own feelings on the backburner and even goes as far as saying she hides decisions from her sister and therapist, presumably her most trusted confidants. All this for dreams of a transformative breakthrough, one she seemingly experiences on He Wants Me. She sings ‘I want him. He wants me.’ If only it was that easy. 

Many of her quips take aim at the shortcomings of her male partners. As a middle-aged man, these are common issues I’ve heard frequently in my adult life and may have been guilty of myself at one point. While I’ll never excuse the undoubted truth of those men and circumstances, it is a breath of fresh air to hear her express her own uncertainties and its impact on a happy relationship. On Two Times she sings about a man who does everything right. ‘You’d be a good Dad, you carried me to the bed. You carried me to the car, When I got sick.’ In a world where she’s always the grown up and doing the emotional heavy lifting, this one is different. He genuinely cares for and takes care of her. Despite all of this, it’s not enough. ‘You try hard to make me yours, But once you get me, I get bored.’ There are countless reasons for this but it’s not some kind of anomaly. The chase and transformation of the bad guy is a very real thing many good guys struggle with. This self-reflection adds a meaningful layer portraying a mature woman who recognizes she is not without fault.

Sabrina also reflects on her challenging relationship with her late mother. On 23’s A Baby, she questions why she would have a child so young, blaming her for her bad habits and not being there when she needs her. On What’s Fair, she adversely questions ‘What’s a fair assessment of the job you did?’claiming she’d want her to be famous so she could live off her if she was still alive. She takes it a step further on ‘Event of a Fire’ with a bit of a full circle moment for the album. ‘Cause I didn’t grow up and it spilled over, Now I’m left open when I’m in love and my heart’s broken when no one hurt it’. Again she admits her own liabilities as her unresolved trauma has led to amplified emotional triggers. Despite her anger, she does make a point to say no one is perfect and she misses her. 

Dissecting Blondshell’s thoughts is rewarding for the listener as she deals with real-life issues just about anyone can relate to. She calls out those troubling her but also looks inward, wrestling thoughts on blame, accountability and the next steps forward. All this happens over a brand of soft alternative rock. She didn’t reinvent the wheel sonically and it lacks a bit of jam in comparison to her debut but she has a knack for pairing her meaningful lyrics with enjoyable, replayable music. However the forty seven minute runtime does feel a couple songs too long with minimal variety in song structure or overall sound.

Blondshell’s sophomore record brings the journal of a woman in her twenties to life. Sabrina questions love, loss, what could’ve been and what might be in incredibly honest and self-aware fashion.

Overall Rating: 7.7/10

Favourite Song: Two Times

ROZ

This week, Too Sweet Reviews re-visits our 2023 indie rock darling Sabrina Teitelbaum, professionally known as the artist Blondshell. I keep feeling like a broken record when I bring up the fact that I always go into this sort of review with bated breath and a delicate balance of cautious optimism and lingering dread. After all, who doesn’t want to see an artist that they personally enjoy also professionally develop, grow, and flourish – both creatively and financially? While both metrics are never quite aligned (in the music world especially, albeit for the rare few who pave the way and do it all), there are many cases where I am a fan first and a critic second and want nothing more than for them to succeed. Broken record or not, the path has been laid out and the headphones are now firmly on. Today, we review Blondshell’s second studio album: If You Asked For A Picture.

One of the largest strengths displayed with Blondshell is her ability to harness a tried-and-true sound then utilize that sound without it feeling too derivative. The specific genre in question is the alt rock sound that dominated the 90’s, with Teitelbaum specifically channeling legendary female artists and female-led groups such as Alanis Morrisette, The Cranberries and Hole. This time period resonates loudly and proudly across IYAFAP – on songs Arms and Two Times, especially – which see dialed back instrumental arrangements and catchy choruses intertwine. I find myself gravitating more towards the mellower characteristic of the album (Thumbtack encapsulating this overall sound the best), as I subconsciously note that the overall energy on the record feels lower than its predecessors was. The album is not without its hits however, as 23’s A Baby brings my head to a nod with its upbeat, catchy composition. This is a stark contrast to the underlying themes throughout her writing, which range from toxic relationships to the consistent turmoil of navigating one's twenties – topics thoroughly fleshed out in her previous work as well.

If You Asked For A Picture is a decent album – nothing particularly special, but adequate. In contrast, when TSR stumbled upon her eponymous album back in 2023, the feelings I had were almost visceral. Sabrina’s vocal performance struck you in the chest and her songwriting practically leapt off the page. The run time was a tight 32 minutes – every ounce of fat and sinew was trimmed away only leaving a quality that resonated with me to the present day. IYAFAP does not exactly take away all of the previous goodwill built up for me, however it did force me to rub the rose colour off of my glasses. Simply put, it felt safe and it felt re-hashed – void of any development from her previous effort whatsoever.  After noticing that Sabrina released a 4 song EP back in April, my curiosity brought me to the place it usually does: the ‘What If’s’. What if outside pressures forced the young artist to bloat this EP into an LP? I couldn’t help but feel that What's Fair, Change, and Man were ideas unrealized, feeling more like songs to fill out a track list rather than genuine thought. Maybe that was the case, but rather than invent my own narrative it made more sense to look back on Blondshell as her potential Magnum opus. 

Blondshell’s ‘If You Asked For A Picture’ attempts to draw you in with the delicious nostalgia of 90’s rock, but unfortunately nostalgia can only get you so far. What’s left is an album that lacks the spark that made her 2023 breakout so impactful – instead leaving you with a comfortable, pleasant listen that offers little in terms of growth or individuality.

Overall Rating: 7.5/10

Favourite Song: Thumbtack

LUNDI

Sophomore Slump. A dreaded alliterated moniker uttered so often in the entertainment industry it’s nearly a rite of passage. You spend your whole life waiting and building your skillset to hit the mark on your debut with no fear of failure and somehow against the insane odds you succeeded. The thousands that try and never make it past step one are mostly forgotten, but those that impress on debut are now pinned down with the pressure of improving on the content that most often encompassed their entire life to date. Now you’re expected to deliver the follow up performance in short order with limited content as the world moves on fast and you cannot miss the moment. It’s a tale as old as time and one that certainly struck this week’s artist Blondshell on her second studio album If You Asked For A Picture. 

Starting with the positivity Blondshell’s expanded musical palette is very well received and pairing it with more meandering arrangements results in a significant improvement musically. Where her debut did feel like every song followed the same recipe, her sophomore effort steps out of repetition and delivers some great nuances across the 12 tracks while still maintaining all the rock sensibilities that were so loveable. Recognizing a weakness and working on it to the point it now props up the output is an attribute to be admired. But in the act of comparing her two studio albums the musical improvement is where the positives begin and unfortunately end. 

Looking back on my words from 2023 while listening to Picture it is hard to fathom the two sets of lyrics being from the same artist. Vulnerable, ferocious, and beautiful are rarely if ever found on album two. What made Teitelbaum so special was her innate ability to look inward and sing about her own personal flaws and how they shaped who she had became as an adult. On Picture she spends most of the exaggerated run time to turn the focus on others, and while that isn’t automatic disaster, her stories carry almost no emotional weight. There’s no wow moment lyrics that grab you and stay in your mind after the record stops spinning. It’s ultimately a fairly basic relationship drama effort that’s uninspired and been done a million times before. 

On top of the lacklustre and bite free lyrics her choice of topics really ring hallow, especially the many tracks are parental and family related. Now I’m no nepo baby hater but these storylines make you roll your eyes a bit knowing she grew up in a home that had millions at their disposal. Even the complaints that could torture the soul still have trouble generating sympathy and her relationship woes have veered from being rooted in the deepest personal insecurities to superficial surface level. Look there’s no doubt the uber rich are mentally twisted, but they’re by far the most interesting when exploring their own demons, not blaming others for them or complaining about things that money can easily make go away. Her stories feel tone deaf and fake to be completely ruthless. Teiltelbaum ultimately spends much too long in searching for a scapegoat, resulting in a basic and uninteresting album. 

If You Asked For A Picture is a textbook sophomore slump but despite an underwhelming performance Blondshell can take solace that the few downsides from her debut have improved. Even though it’s still a significant step back if she puts all the good things together from her first two studio efforts we could very well be speaking of album three as the modern day version of Jagged Little Pill (Alanis Morissette), Exit In Guyville (Liz Phair) or Celebrity Skin (Hole). It’s all there, it just needs to come together. 

Overall Rating: 6.6/10

Favourite Song: T&A